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Crudimentary Questions Posts

09 Porn: First Person Shooter


Getting that close-up money shot on this episode of Crudimentary Questions where we ask:

  • Should Sandy & Jill write a true crime porno?
  • What is VR porn and how do we sign up?
  • Do we need to patent the idea of a “Ball Cam”?

Listen to find out!

Be sure to follow: twitterfacebook, and instagram.

Stay crude, my dudes.

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LIMP CHIMP

Sandy breaks down the great stages of an erection.
Jill edits it into a song/video.
There are inflatable penises involved.

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Guide to Getting It On

Dudes. Friends let friends borrow sex books. This should be a more prevalent thing. Our good friend, Zack, at one time, let us both borrow the book “Guide to Getting It On” and we are ever so grateful for that experience. Hey, and you can GET IT ON Amazon (bah!) if you are so inclined. Seriously, you need it.

We reference this book in our latest episode about Erections as just “The Sex Book” and realized we’ve never fully explained what it’s called or what it’s about or anything. This is the time, people.

This book taught us so much vital information in our formative sex-learning years (aka college). More than parents or teachers were ever willing to teach. Because, hey, guess what? Sex shouldn’t be forbidden or clinical or gross or explained awkwardly by disrespected adults.

No, sex should be fun! Thrilling! Amazing! Yes, a little awkward and naughty but in a safe, vulnerable place. And please explain it to us with wonderful, non-censored drawings of real people having real sex. Talk about the pleasure of it… and with good humor! So much lovely humor.

We just purchased our own used copy (best to buy a used sex book, amiright?) so pretty sure we’ll be posting some excerpts in the future. Stay tuned, my dudes.

xoxo,
Jill & Sandy

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07 Erections: Sorry, Mom


Growing a massive boner on this episode of Crudimentary Questions where we ask:

  • Is AOL the best sex education platform?
  • What is a micropenis?
  • Why do people send unsolicited dick pics?

Listen to find out!

Be sure to follow: twitterfacebook, and instagram.

Stay crude, my dudes.

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06 Virginity: Stuffed Crust Pizza


Popping our cherries on this episode of Crudimentary Questions where we ask:

  • Is everyone’s first time super awkward?
  • Why is Beverly Hills Ninja such a great make out movie?
  • Who was Sandy and Jill’s first celebrity crush?

Listen to find out!

Be sure to follow: twitterfacebook, and instagram.

Stay crude, my dudes.

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Pizza Sex

Jill makes her sims act out an excerpt from our latest episode Virginity: Stuffed Crust Pizza available Tuesday March 22

“My poor sims.  In order to record this footage, I fed them nothing but ice cream and pizza and made them have sex over and over again until both their bladders were full and they were miserable.” -Jill

“I love how they smash their faces into the ice cream cones.” -Sandy

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The Embarrassing Box

We made up a game. It’s legit. Well, as legit as taping a black box shut and pairing it with a janky-ass sign. But anyways, it works. It’s simple and stupid and we love it because it got our friends to tell us their most embarrassing stories. Guess what? Most of them involve POOP.

Enjoy the entries below. Share your own poop story in the comments! #noshame

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05 Poop: Eating Mistakes


Dropping a double deuce on this episode of Crudimentary Questions where we ask:

  • Why does pooping feel so, so good?
  • Are you embarrassed to let it all go in a public restroom?
  • Why do we like the smell of our own farts?

Listen to find out!

Be sure to follow: twitterfacebook, and instagram.

Stay crude, my dudes.

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Sandy & Jill Make a Porno

You guys, we are ARTISTS. This is an art film we produced. It’s sensual. It’s beautiful. It’s horrifying. It’s a comment on our society’s expectation of sexual norms and how we must break free from our metaphorical undergarments.

But seriously, it’s just a porno. We make plastic people without genitals do things. It’s weird. It’s grotesque. Enjoy.

And don’t forget to listen to our latest episode Genitals: Inverted Front Butt.

xoxo,
Sandy & JIll

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